My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being
hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
--Erma Bombeck
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with
ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
--Erma Bombeck
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
--Erma Bombeck
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else
--Erma Bombeck
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
--Erma Bombeck American Humorist
If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.
--Erma Bombeck
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one. Helen Keller is the other.
--Erma Bombeck
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
--Erma Bombeck (I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression)
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
--Erma Bombeck
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