If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.
--George Muncaster (Air Force Wisdom)
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in
fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
- Robert Frost
Two lions broke loose in the zoo and were eating a clown.
One lion said to the other ...
"Does this taste funny to you?"
- Unknown
Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
- Jim Davis
I'm a classic example of all humorists — only funny when I'm working.
- Peter Sellers
Great Britain and the United States are nations
separated by a common language.
- George Bernard Shaw
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.
- Buster Keaton
My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil
- Paul Getty
I just thought of something funny...your mother.
- Cheech Marin
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
- Peter Ustinov
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk,
my first instinct is to laugh.
But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.
Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule,
and on every side of a fool
--Edgar Watson Howe
Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.
- Lyric from Frank Zappa's "Be-Bop Tango"
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