I believe in making the world safe for our children,
but not our children's children, because
I don't think children should be having sex
--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live - NBC)
I haven't had sex in eight months. To be honest,
I now prefer to go bowling.
--Lil' Kim
Older people exude bundles of sexuality.
Older men, and women tend not run around like cats and dogs in heat.
--Jacqueline Bisset
Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young,
the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old.
--John Ciardi
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except
over the phone to people I don't know.
--Garry Shandling
Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence
life until we know how to understand sex.
--Havelock Ellis
They have to convert our agenda into something aggressive.
Two guys wanting to be happy together are invading their marriages.
Helping a kid who's getting beaten up at school is promoting homosexuality.
If you gave me a million dollars, I wouldn't know how to promote homosexuality.
Do I hire Don King?
--Barney Frank U.S. Representative
Defense of Marriage? It's like the old V-8 commercial.
As though if this act didn't pass, heterosexual men all
over the country would say, [smacking head] 'I could have married a guy!'
--Barney Frank U.S. Representative
same-sex marriages. The name implies that the value of
heterosexual marriages goes down once you let homosexuals
into the institution There goes the neighborhood.
I don't buy this realtor's view of relationships.
Gay and lesbian couples who want to wed aren't trying to assail
the grounds for marriage. They're trying to share them.
If anything, they want to stabilize the gay community.
--Ellen Goodman Syndicated Boston Globe columnist
Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts
--Jeff Foxworthy
Writing is a lot like sex. At first you do it because you like it.
Then you find yourself doing it for a few close friends and people you like.
But if you're any good at all...you end up doing it for money.
--Unknown
Everyone probably thinks that I'm a raving nymphomaniac,
that I have an insatiable sexual appetite, when the truth is I'd rather read a book.
--Madonna (1958-) US singer, actress in Q Magazine (London), Jun 1991.
Surfing on the Internet is like sex; everyone boasts about
doing more than they actually do.
But in the case of the Internet, it's a lot more.
--Tom Fasulo
Love is a matter of Chemistry, but sex is a matter of Physics
--Unknown
The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry.
If I have to cry I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh,
I think of my sex life
--Glenda Jackson
Sex is a flame which uncontrolled may scorch; properly guided,
it will light the torch of eternity.
--Joseph Fetterman
In public school systems across the country, they're indoctrinating kids
to be 'sexual' under the guise of protecting them, when you know that's
not true. I think it is indoctrination for left-wing agendas.
--Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please!
--Austin Powers
Ann Landers said that you are addicted to sex if you have
sex more than 3 times a day, and that you should seek professional help.
I have news for Ann Landers: The only way I am going to get sex 3 times a day
is if I seek professional help.
--Jay Leno
Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.
Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant.
And it always feels good.
--Lora Brody, author of Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet
My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.
--Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computers
Sex is a body-contact sport. It is safe to watch but more fun to play.
--Thomas Szasz, M.D.
Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.
--Jackie Onassis
Sex is a discovery.
--Fannie Hurst
Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
--M. C. Reed
Sex is unclean, not because of the pleasure,
but because of the suffering it brings.
--Theodore Roeszak
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it,
you probably won't either.
--Unknown
Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go.
--Unknown
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
--Unknown
Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches
you're going to get or how long it will last.
--Unknown
Sex is an emotion in motion.
--Mae West
Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'.
--Unknown
Sex is the tabasco sauce which an adolescent national
palate sprinkles on every course in the menu.
--Mary Day Winn
You know "that look" women get when they want sex?
Me neither.
--Steve Martin
Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
--Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
--Rodney Dangerfield
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase
sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
--Lynn Lavner
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
--Camille Paglia
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
--Sharon Stone
Hockey is a sport for white men.
Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
--Tiger Woods
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
--Jack Nicholson
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
--Barbara Bush
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
--Billy Crystal
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
--Robert De Niro
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men
are having allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
--Dustin Hoffman
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think,
I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.
--Jerry Seinfeld
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman
I don't like and just give her a house.
--Rod Stewart
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time.
-- Robin Williams
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
--Swami X
Sex is the biggest nothing of all time.
--Andy Warhol
Sex is hardly ever just about sex.
--Shirley MacLaine
Sex is the ersatz or substitute religion of the 20th Century.
--Malcolm Muggeridge
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation -
the other eight are unimportant.
--Henry Miller
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